


LU-9235

by Laura_Sinele



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Canon-Typical Violence, Darth Tantrum and his Evil Space Ginger, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Has No Chill, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Protective Armitage Hux, Protective Kylo Ren, Protectiveness, Snoke Being a Dick, Stormtrooper Hux, Unhealthy Relationships, but not in the most healthy way, it's all snoke's fault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-02-23 02:36:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23304355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laura_Sinele/pseuds/Laura_Sinele
Summary: Hux picks Ren up from the Starkiller base before it collapses. Snoke is happy to have his apprentice back, but thinks Hux decision to save him showed his weakness, and sends him to recondition. Meanwhile, Ren is going through an existential crisis involving Snoke, Han Solo and Hux, well, now Stormtrooper LU-9235.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 17
Kudos: 130





	1. General Hux

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate POV. This is intense and angsty, not like my usual writing.
> 
> Inspired by tumblr user [queenstardust](Chapter%20edited%20on%2001/08/2020%20\(d/m/y\).%20%20No%20major%20changes%20that%20could%20affect%20the%20plot,%20just%20style%20update%20and%20getting%20rid%20of%20mistakes%20and%20inconsistencies.%20).

‘You retrieved the Master of Ren personally, General. I should be grateful. Indeed, I am. And yet, I fail to grasp the reasons behind your selfless act’.

‘Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren is a valuable asset to the Order and an esteemed underling to you. I could not possibly leave him behind’.

‘He is a child’.

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘‘He is a child’. That was you thought. At the final hour, in the middle of the evacuation effort, you were told by some petty officer where he had gone, and what he had done before chasing down the scavenger and the traitor. You felt sympathy for him as a fellow patricide. You felt sorry’.

Hux said nothing, did nothing. He stood at attention, hands clasped at his back, great coat making the illusion of a physical presence he did not possess. What he did have was cold blood, impeccable martial manners, and the painstakingly acquired ability to close his mind to the probings of a Force user. He appeared perfectly calm, only his gaze, burning a proverbial hole through the banners hanging behind Snoke’s throne, betrayed any kind of distress while the Supreme Leader enveloped his mind. However, Snoke did not show much of a real interest in finding anything there. 

‘You know I could break down your defences if I truly wanted to read your thoughts. Those walls you have built around them are impressive, nonetheless. The fact that they are there and they resist a gentle push of mine inside your memories tells me more than I would find out should I make them fall. It is a shame to dispose of such an intricate, brilliant mind. And so profusely fortified’.

Hux met Snoke’s eyes for the first time since he entered the throne room. Probably for the first time ever. 

‘Supreme Leader?’, he said, perplexity filtering through his words.

‘I have no use for you. The order doesn’t need a General that would leave the evacuation efforts to save a reckless, injured child, whatever his rank or value.  _ I  _ don’t need a hound that would lick the hunter’s wounds rather than keep on with the chase. Pitiful that your genius will be lost to us. Ironic that your very first success will become your demise. But there are no further considerations: you will forego reconditioning. You are far more useful as a trooper’.

Hux stood still for heartbeat. Two. On the third he clapped his heels, gave a martial nod and turned around, marching out escorted by four armed foot soldiers.

* * *

There was no need to take him all the way to Arkanis for conditioning. He assumed bringing him here was part of the punishment, adding insult to injury. Leaving his subordinates behind. Making them watch, letting Hux know they were watching. Upon landing he wondered briefly if his mother would be alive and around. He found he did not care.

In deference to his rank and service, he was offered one last night of freedom and plenty of whimsical pleasures to choose from, which he had no use for. He wasn’t one for indulgences. His last and only one in decades had become his downfall: sympathising. Hux had never liked Ren. He had never liked anyone, besides the cat, and even that started out from pitty. He appreciated Phasma’s dedication to the Order and was comfortable around her, but she was the fruit of an intense psychological and pharmacological manipulation that Hux had helped design, so the camaraderie and sort of intimacy between them shouldn’t be considered true friendship. And yet, despite his persistent avoidance of any kind of attachment, when Starkiller was collapsing he couldn’t make himself turn his back on Ren. Snoke did not lie, those had been his thoughts: that Ren was a child, that Ren had just killed his own father, that Ren was fatally wounded, that Ren was going to die. And he was just a child. That seemed to be enough to override his better sense and make him go on Ren’s rescue. This bout of compassion remained inexplicable for him even now, as it was the absolute absence of any regret, even in the face of the consequences. 

There was nothing Hux wanted to do on his last night, then, other than letting his mind wander and rest his thoughts for the first time he could remember. And this was the path they followed: first Millicent; then, that Phasma might have kept her, otherwise they must have airlocked her along with the troopers and officers that followed him in Ren’s rescue; then Ren. Ren unconscious inside a bacta tank. Unconscious on a medbay bed. Barely conscious and fighting off the painkillers. Unconscious and slashed open, sprawled on the snow. Ren’s face without a helmet. Ren fighting his way through a battlefield like a sentient mass destruction weapon in a beautifully deadly dance. Ren’s intoxicating rage. Ren’s incandescent hate. Their antagonism. Yes. That was the one and only loss that caused him true grief. 

Reconditioning would take all that away from him. It wasn’t a terrifying prospect in itself, since his skills and psychological traits would remain, his innate ambition ensuring a most certain climb up the ranks in no time, increasing his chances of survival. Still, as the night came to an end, the grief grew pressing, heavy and bruising. Hux had always been a child of the Order with a single purpose that served something bigger than himself. He had never wanted anything for himself other than the privilege and prestige that he knew would keep him alive and sane. Yet now, facing the lost of it all, he found himself visiting and revisiting all his memories about Ren. He found himself anxious about Ren alone and weak at Snoke’s mercy. He feared the chance that Ren could face reconditioning or something worse by the fickle will of the Supreme Leader more than he feared facing it himself. He wanted to go back to the Supremacy and protect Ren at all costs, and he could not understand for all the credits in the known space, where did that protective urge come from. 

It did not matter much, though. All this would be erased in a matter of hours. He could only brace himself for it. The chances of creating and hiding a subconscious reboot mechanism somewhere in his mind in a single night were low, and to hope to live long enough for something or someone to activate it was futile, so he laid down and slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited on 01/08/2020 (d/m/y).
> 
> No major changes that could affect the plot, just style update and getting rid of mistakes and inconsistencies.


	2. The Wounded Hunter

The medbay reeked of sterilizer. Everything about being there was infuriating, and his anger-fuelled connection with the Force watered down any painkiller. That was good, however. Pain was good. Pain led him further into the Dark Side. Failure, on the other hand…

Captain Peavey entered the room with a handful of terrified petty officers. Peavey himself wasn’t a paragon of composure. He opened his arms amiably and then opened his mouth, but Ren barked over him:

‘Where’s the coward? I know he didn’t die, is he too afraid to face me himself?’

Peavey mouthed like a fish, so Ren was forced to clarify:

‘Hux!’

‘Lord Ren, uh… General Hux was demoted and sent to reconditioning in Arkanis. I am your co-commander until his successor is appointed’.

Ren got out of the bed and stalked towards his get-well-soon committee. To their credit, even though they all flinched a little, they managed to stand their ground and refrained from making any distressed noises. Before pain could make him collapse, Ren loomed over Peavey and said between gritted teeth:

‘Get out of my sight unless Snoke is sending you’.

Peavey swallowed the lump in his throat, nodded and dragged his hand through his face to collect the sweat.

‘Yes, Lord Ren’, he whimpered before turning around and leaving the room with his retinue in tow. 

Ren fell on his knees, clutching his side. The bacta had sealed the skin and the scar tissue was already healed, but there was still some major internal damage. He retched, summoning almost immediately a cleaning droid and two medical officers that tried to get him in bed again. He pushed them away with the Force and destroyed the cleaning droid with his bare hands, cutting his knuckles deeper the more he punched into it. Stormtroopers were called into the room, a medic gave him a shot of tranquillisers and they tied him down to bed with some basic Force inhibitors, that didn’t actually cut him out so much as they limited his ability to use it. Ren remembered Hux insisting on obtaining them, allegedly for such occasions, in a very vocal manner during a meeting with him and Snoke. 

‘We apologise, Lord Ren, but your injuries require that you stay still in order to fully recover’.

‘Leave me alone’, he said, still fighting the drugs. ‘OUT!’

He willed the lights down as painstakingly as his first tries to levitate breadcrumbs, and tried to meditate. When he finally achieved balance, a vision of the Force came to him. Snow falling, fire roaring, ground trembling. A terrible, deep guilt and disappointment. A death wish. Then, Hux looming over him, picking him up, carrying him over his shoulder. Hux panting, knees buckling, ground trembling. Ren using his last string of conscience to lighten his own weight and push Hux forward. Ren wishing Hux wouldn’t die because of him. 

That last thought brought him out of his trance. Because of his petulance, disrespect of the Force, and one track military mind, Ren had always despised Hux to a murderous extent, Snoke being the only reason he hadn’t killed him. Ren had wanted to die back in Starkiller, because he had failed Snoke. The punishment would have been terrible but it would never compare to the shame he felt. Furthermore, the memories of Ben Solo were taking over him, making him regret killing Han. He could have let Hux fall on his knees, and Force out the air of his lungs before he could take them to safety. He could have had that last satisfaction before dying. Instead, and disregarding their odds, he saved them both. He chose the Light in his final breaths and now he was alive to remember. He was a failure. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited on 01/08/2020 (d/m/y).
> 
> No major changes that could affect the plot, just style update and getting rid of mistakes and inconsistencies.


	3. The uneventful life of LU-9235 (and his ambitions)

He didn’t enjoy mingling with the troops. He was told it was good for morale and he encouraged mingling amongst his soldiers. He did not mingle himself, however. Maybe he used to mingle when he was a foot soldier, he did not remember. He was reconditioned before his promotion to corporal, and again before becoming sergeant. The technicians mumbled then that he had undergone too many. He knew a trooper faced a recondition before joining the ranks and before every promotion, and he knew there were ranks from foot soldier to captain. He didn’t understand why they considered his three conditionings ‘too many’. But he asked no questions. He was a good trooper. An exceptional one. Not having a single memory of his life before the Order didn’t bother him, even when he heard others summon theirs, fragmentary and vague. He deemed himself more valuable because of this. He knew himself above his troopers. He knew he was set for success and he would bring the utmost glory to the Order. If only he managed to be assigned to the Supremacy, where his extraordinary skills would be accordingly appreciated. 

Aspirations weren’t usual in a Stormtrooper. In fact, they were discouraged. But that didn’t bother LU-9235 much. That was how he knew he was set for glory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited on 01/08/2020 (d/m/y).
> 
> No major changes that could affect the plot, just style update and getting rid of mistakes and inconsistencies.


	4. The Master of Ren

There had been a siege to a rebel base for more than 40 standard cycles now. Shameful. Snoke wasn’t pleased, neither was Kylo Ren. He traveled to that blasted asteroid in the Outer Rim with all of his knights to finish it once and for all. He was very much not pleased. They landed in the middle of crossfire. Ren found the officer in command, read the situation before she could report it, and Force-strangled her until her neck snapped. The fear that inspired on the gathered troops and officers assaulted him and fed his wrath. He would use it for his onslaught. But before he could jump over the barricades and charge against the rebel base, a different emotion reached him from the outside. There was someone there that wasn’t afraid. They were awed. They admired him, they aspired to be equals even. Ren was taken aback by that. He stopped in his tracks and turned around, searching for the source of such arrogance. He pinpointed it onto a trooper sergeant, standing at attention, their mind divided between the next assault they were comandering and a deep fascination towards Ren. 

Ren wanted to kill them for such audacity. He walked up to them and stopped when their chests barely touched, looming over them despite the small height difference. The trooper didn’t cower, but they weren’t fooled by some kind of self-important delusion of being chosen either, as Ren had first thought they would. They just stood and waited for instructions. Ren’s murdering drive faltered. 

‘You and your troopers, follow me to the back of the bunker’.

The sergeant nodded. Ren shoot orders to them through the Force. The infiltration was a success. 

They were gathering prisoners and bodies in less than an hour. On the way back to his ship, Ren saw the trooper gather his wounded soldiers and kill them. He reached out to their mind. There was nothing there, they were merely following protocol, devoid of any emotion. Once they shot down the last trooper, though, they turned their helmeted face towards Ren’s ship for a split second and there it was: a sliver of hope, a flash of devotion. They hoped Ren was pleased with them. 

‘Send that trooper to the Supremacy once they’re done here’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited on 04/08/2020 (d/m/y).
> 
> No major changes that could affect the plot, just style update and getting rid of mistakes and inconsistencies.


	5. Lux

LU-9235 stood at parade rest in the middle of Kylo Ren’s private quarters. Lord Ren removed his own helmet and approached him, standing at an arm's length from him. 

‘Remove your helmet, LU-9235’.

LU-9235 did as he was told, careful to avoid eye contact with his commander. Once he revealed his face, Lord Ren turned around abruptly an paced the room in agitated silence for a while. 

‘What is your nickname?’

‘Lord Ren?’

Ren walked up to him and looked at him up close, with curiosity and a certain amount of distrust. 

‘Your alias. The name your troopers give you outside service’.

‘I don’t have one, Lord Ren. I don’t partake in enough social activities for the need of it to have arisen’.

‘Do you have any memories from before joining the Order?’

‘No, Lord Ren’.

‘Conditioning doesn’t always erase all the memories’.

‘That seems to be my case, Lord Ren’.

‘So you can’t tell if you were a rebel sympathiser or a defector, a war criminal…’

‘I can’t tell, Lord Ren. However, my loyalties are unwaveringly with the First Order. And you, my Lord’.

Ren paused his scrutiny of LU-9235’s face. From the trooper’s back right side, he leaned over him and asked.

‘What about the Supreme Leader Snoke?’

‘The Supreme Leader Snoke is the highest authority in the First Order. I am loyal to him, but ultimately the First Order must prevail, no matter who leads it’, he replied unfazed. 

‘Then what about me? Where would your loyalties lay if you had to choose between the Order and me?’

Ren expected to make him squirm with that, to see him break a sweat, and start to babble. LU-9235 remained undeterred, however. 

‘The Order has no purpose and no future without a leader such as yourself. If the Order abandons you, I shall abandon the Order’.

‘That is a shockingly honest answer. Aren’t you afraid of being accused of treason?’

‘I live to serve the Order, but the Order would be nothing without you, Lord Ren’.

‘Where does this devotion come from?’

‘There is no other response than devotion to witnessing your use of the Force, your fighting technique and your tactical prowess’.

‘Lux’, Ren whispered in his left ear.

LU-9235’s heart rate peaked and he dropped momentarily his stance. He composed himself quickly. 

‘My Lord?’

‘Your new alias’.

‘Thank you, my Lord’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited on 04/08/2020 (d/m/y).
> 
> No major changes that could affect the plot, just style update and getting rid of mistakes and inconsistencies.


	6. Ren and The Toy Soldier

‘My child, tell me about your new pet’.

‘What do you mean, Master?’

‘The trooper’.

‘There is not much to say. He is a good spar’.

‘I am sure we can find something in the depths of your mind’, said Snoke as he pulled a kneeling Ren towards him with the Force, until the apprentice shook himself out of the master’s grip. ‘Well? You do know he used to be General Hux, there is no point in denying it’.

‘Why would I want to deny it? I didn’t mention it because I assumed you knew’.

‘Tell me what else do you know, without assumptions’.

Ren took a moment to gather himself, he stood, clasped his hands behind his back in an uncharacteristically martial way, and talked.

‘He is a valued trooper, albeit his thoughts and emotions are unusual and loud. He doesn’t remember his previous lives, not even between successive reconditionings. He is loyal. My old enmity with the general fuels me when we fight, that’s why he has become my favourite non-Force sensitive spar’.

‘Do you feel enmity towards LU-9235?’

‘I feel nothing’.

‘But you named him’.

‘LU-9235 is a mouthful on the training mat, Master’.

‘Do you know why I ordered his reconditioning?’

‘No, Master’.

‘General Hux jeopardised the order because his feelings for you blinded him’.

‘General Hux hated me, Master’.

‘And you hated him. It was very convenient for your training and his productivity to have you both challenging each other. Until you failed me. Then he felt sorry for you, and went and saved you. I could not have you two bonding over your shared crimes and guilt and pity. I had no further use for him’

Ren pinned his eyes on the floor.

‘I was the one who failed you. I should have been punished, not him’.

‘My child! Do you feel sorry for him too?’, Snoke cackled like a stone scratching metal. ‘I made you co-commanders because you needed a source of passion that would drive you to the Dark Side. Whether you tried to kill each other or you copulated like rabid animals I couldn't care less, as long as your potential reached its zenith. But I wouldn’t have him unknowingly turn you to the Side of the Light with his sudden bout of compassion. I disposed of him instead of you because you are a gifted Force user, while he was just an ambitious little snake waiting for his time to betray us’.

Ren took a deep breath in, then out. 

‘I understand now, Master’.

‘I will let you keep this toy of yours, Kylo Ren. But don’t get nostalgic: General Hux is gone forever’. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited on 04/08/2020 (d/m/y).
> 
> No major changes that could affect the plot, just style update and getting rid of mistakes and inconsistencies.


	7. To Kill The Fathers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: explicit fist fight, mentions of blood.

Ren knew that Hux had rescued him from the Starkiller. He had simply assumed he was following orders. For a moment, Ren considered the possibility of Snoke testing him by revealing the matter of Hux’s feelings, which could be truthful or not. But the imprint of Hux emotions in Ren’s memories coincided with what Snoke had said. Hux had been worried about Ren, he had felt protective about him. Ren had had this certainty like a thorn in his side since he woke up in medbay. That the simplest explanation was true and the confirmation came from Snoke himself was only more unnerving. Especially since, indeed, General Hux was gone forever. 

Ren clenched his fists and jaw all the way from the throne room to his personal training facilities. He disrobed by the mat and stretched, waiting for Lux, who arrived only moments later, already in his training clothes. He saluted and positioned himself in front of Ren without a word. This, Ren liked from Lux, his quiet efficiency. On the contrary, Hux could keep talking all the while being asphyxiated. He knew that for a fact. 

Without a word, Ren threw himself over Lux, who barely had time to set guard. Ren beat him up viciously, not adhering to any known martial style. It was pure unadulterated fury, more appropriate for an Outer Rim shady cantina than the First Order’s flagship. Soon, Lux ran out of tricks and was taking more blows than he was dodging, let alone hitting back. Ren pinned him down on the floor with a hand on his throat, and punched him in the face time after time after time, screaming his guts out over the defenseless trooper, the images of Han Solo, Snoke, and General Hux in his greatcoat stalking through the snow haunting him. Blood, sweat and saliva splattered his face and top, and Lux stayed perfectly still. When Ren stopped, Lux let out the faintest groan and passed out. Not once had he asked for mercy. 

Ren got a fair amount of stares on his way to medbay with Lux over his shoulder. It wasn’t unusual for him to break his sparring partner —never beyond repair— but it wasn’t every day that the crew witnessed Lord Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, commander of the Supremacy and Supreme Leader Snoke’s apprentice carrying the unlucky bastard to the medics himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited on 04/08/2020 (d/m/y).
> 
> No major changes that could affect the plot, just style update and getting rid of mistakes and inconsistencies.


	8. Back for more

‘I wasn’t expecting to find you here’.

Lux allowed himself a congratulatory smile before answering.

‘I was discharged earlier than anticipated’.

‘I meant I wasn’t expecting to find you here  _ at all _ ’.

Lux made a puzzled face, then straightened himself and spoke with his eyes fixed in a spot over Ren’s shoulder.

‘I apologise, my Lord, I was under the impression that you would continue to require me in your training’.

‘I am not kicking you out. We can spar if you want to. I just didn’t think you’d want to after I beat you to a pulp’.

Lux relaxed his stance and looked sheepish. Ren could have never in a million stars imagined that look on Hux’s face. 

‘My loyalties haven’t changed, Lord Ren. I am yours to do as you please’. 

At that, Ren felt his stomach jolt, but he refused to dwell on it. He disrobed down to his undershirt and pants, cracked his joints and joined Lux on the mat. 

‘Easy today. I feel you haven’t recovered yet’.

‘As you please, my Lord’. 

Ren closed his eyes and they fell into a slow, rhythmic routine of attack and counterattack, almost following the textbook. They moved in perfect synchronicity and absolute silence, Ren relying on the Force instead of his sight, Lux following every movement keenly with his eyes, studying Ren with the same sort of awe that made him stand out in the battlefield all those cycles ago. Lux’s reverence was inebriating. After a long while, Ren could feel close to nothing besides Lux’s admiration. It filled up each one of his senses like an appeasing thrum, a thick, sweet aroma. Then Lux landed his forearm across Ren’s chest. When Ren opened his eyes, Lux’s were wide with shock and Ren couldn’t contain a smile. 

‘Good fight’. 

\--

‘What is it? You are fidgety. Your anxiety is loud and it’s throwing me off’. 

‘I am excited to be here, Lord Ren, is all’. 

‘Lux, I thought you'd know better than lying to my face. You've already been in my quarters, something else is bothering you’.

‘I don't want to pry, my Lord’.

‘Out with it’.

‘Your scar’, Lux replied so abruptly that Ren wasn't sure of not having used the Force to get an answer. ‘I am not easily shocked, but your scar caused a deep impression on me. It looks recent. I have consulted the official logs but I have not found any reports on it. I was wondering if it would be disrespectful to ask’. 

Ren blinked, mildly surprised. He searched Lux for any sign of double intention or plotting, or even of General Hux coming back to his senses. There was only agitation and, adding to Ren's surprise, some fierce protectiveness muted by Lux's awareness of his position and Ren's superior power. 

‘The mission where I got this scar was deleted from the logs, along with every other event where a demoted general was involved’.

‘A traitor’.

‘No. Not exactly. He made a mistake. Unknowingly, he interfered with plans he wasn't aware of. But he wasn't a traitor. If something, he became too loyal for his own good’. 

Lux nodded gravely and Ren knew he had understood that Snoke was the missing piece in this paradox. That mistrust, so unusual in a trooper, was what drove Ren to routinely prod in Lux's brain from then on, in search of the faintest shadow of Hux. 

Since he woke up in medbay after Starkiller, Ren felt drawn to his old antagonist beyond his own understanding. Snoke's revelation had done nothing but spur that inclination. Somehow, knowing that they could have been allies instead of rivals, that Snoke was toying with both of them and not only with the general, woke in Ren the need to seek that impossible alliance. The reason, he supposed, was spite, and the necessity of a brilliant tactical mind to break free from the most powerful Force user of the galaxy. There wasn't a thorough plan to his intentions, though. Ren excelled in field and flight tactics but he didn't usually plan more than necessary. He tended to spot a hole through which barge in and get what he was looking for by sheer force. By then, he was already sure Hux was somewhere in Lux’s mind, it was just a matter to find his hideout and drag him to the surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited on 04/08/2020 (d/m/y).
> 
> No major changes that could affect the plot, just style update and getting rid of mistakes and inconsistencies.


	9. Delusions of grandeur

LU-9235 sat on a bench between two fighting mats in Lord Ren’s requisitioned training hall. The only place in the whole galaxy where he thought about himself as Lux, beside Lord Ren’s quarters. It was not only that Kylo Ren himself had bestowed that name on him, and only he knew about it and called him like that. It was the ring of it, as if he had been called by that simple syllable his whole life and he had made it something pride-worthy. 

He was strapping up his hands, from the middle of his forearms to right above the first set of knuckles. He found himself concerned with the possibility of leaving a mark on Lord Ren’s body or face, even though he had only managed to hit him once and he was sure the Lord had been lax due to Lux’s recent discharge from medbay. That was the only possible explanation for a trooper, even one as well trained as himself, managing to break the guard of such an exceptional combatant and Force user as Lord Kylo Ren.

And yet, this certainty didn’t stop him from day dreaming. Not actively, not that he would ever allow himself such a low, unfructuous passtime. But these images kept assaulting him ever since he first saw Ren in person for the very first time: he saw himself standing next to him on the bridge of a high class ship; next to him before Supreme Leader Snoke; facing him while discussing military tactics; challenging each other with the most passionate stubbornness. LU-9235 was ashamed of even daring to picture any of it. But those deliria never stopped, nor the urge to spend as much time as possible with Kylo Ren. He felt blessed being in his favour. He would have probably had to apply himself for conditioning if such obsession had blossomed without Lord Ren noticing him and calling him to his side. He was afraid one day Lord Ren would notice the extent of his admiration and cast him away, disgusted by it. At the same time, he had the certainty, against everything he knew, that Kylo Ren needed him as much as LU-9235 needed Kylo Ren. Despite that, he never failed to remind himself his place would always be below Ren, no matter how right it felt to be his equal. 

‘Lux. You are early’.

He immediately stood at attention. Lord Ren didn’t told him not to, as he had been doing lately. 

‘My Lord’, he said, avoiding eye contact and hoping the blush he felt expand over his face and chest went unnoticed. 

‘Why are you so flustered?’, Ren said, keeping his distance, still in his robes, cawl and helmet. 

Lux knew lying was useless, but he didn’t exactly have an answer.

‘My Lord, I rather not say’.

‘You say this knowing that I can find out easily’.

Lux remained silent, so did Ren. After a while, Lux, emboldened by the fact that Ren was not trying to read his mind, spoke:

‘My Lord, is there something wrong?’

‘Observant as always’.

‘Can I be of assistance?’

‘I don’t think so. I just have gotten an order that I’d rather not follow’.

‘I know I might not be of much help given my rank and nature but I would gladly be of any service. I would do whatever you asked me if that could right this wrong, my Lord’.

Lux felt a wave of mixed anger and self-containment that was neither his nor directed towards him. It shook him and he dropped his stance and looked into Ren’s helmeted face. He noticed for the first time that Ren was holding his lightsaber. Ren tilted his head and ignited his weapon.

‘Then die’. 

Lux didn’t spare a thought in it. His chest hurt, he could barely breath and he had a lump in his throat but he fell on his knees, arms open, without the slightest hesitation. As Ren stalked towards him, Lux closed his eyes and listened to the hum of the saber, waiting for it to reach him. One heartbeat. Two. On the third he opened his eyes.

Ren had stopped, leaning towards him, lightsaber lined with Hux’s heart, held with both hands over his right shoulder. His left knee was slightly bended and his right leg stretched backwards for balance. He was trembling and panting.

Lux’s lips parted, without him really knowing what to say, but before he could talk, Ren’s helmet-distorted voice boomed in a cry of frustration. He did a half turn as he threw away the still flaring up lightsaber, which left scorched marks on two walls and a mat. Before it landed, he unfastened the helmet and tossed it in the same direction with a violent grunt. For a beat he stood, still panting, eyes on the floor, not really looking anywhere. Finally, he collapsed on his knees, not completely facing Lux, painting his negative image: hunched forwards, hands on his face, tear-streaked cheeks, dishevelled hair. He sobbed once.

‘Lord Ren?’, Lux ventured.

‘Shut up, Hux, you damn coward! It is your fault we are in this mess’, Ren barked. 

Before he could stop himself Lux stood up, consumed by an unsuspected rage, and loomed over Ren with his closed fists trembling at his sides.

‘What did you call me?’. Ren didn’t respond. ‘My Lord’, he insisted, weakly this time. ‘My… Ren. Ren! What did you just call me?’

Ren looked up, searching. He might had found what he was looking for, because he smiled bitterly, dragged his gloved hands over his sweaty, teary face and stood up to face him. 

‘I called you by your name, General Armitage Hux’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited on 04/08/2020 (d/m/y).
> 
> No major changes that could affect the plot, just style update and getting rid of mistakes and inconsistencies.


	10. To bite the hand that feeds you

As he stood over Hux’s laying form, Ren was filled by an uncharacteristic regret. It felt wrong, having used the Force to put him to sleep, even after the countless aggressions Ren had inflicted on him –and enjoyed inflicting. But, after a few minutes of disorientation and disbelief, all his old memories seemed to assault Hux, and he had become absolutely frenzied, ready to go face Snoke right away to destroy him or die trying. Ren had had no other option than inducing a deep sleep on him because, even though Snoke wasn’t aboard the Supremacy, Hux’s emotions were a beacon in the Force. And this is how Kylo Ren found himself smuggling a soundly asleep Hux into his own quarters to save his life, only a few minutes after trying to kill him as per Snoke command. 

Snoke had given him the order at the hangar, ready to depart for his jungle sanctuary in a planet devoid of intelligent lifeforms, where he would study and meditate. He hadn’t even faced Ren, he had talked while he walked towards his shuttle.

‘He’s growing too close to you’, had said Snoke. ‘He harbours  _ affection _ . You know the protocol. Do it yourself’.

Ren nodded, clasping his hands at his back again, a newly acquired habit that hadn’t gone unnoticed neither to him nor to his master.

Then Snoke turned around to look at him as if in a second thought.

‘Remember who you are, boy. Remember where you come from and who brought you here. I will not tolerate weakness or failure, even from… How did Hux put it? Ah, a valuable asset to the Order and an esteemed underling to me’.

Now, in his chambers, pulse still racing, Ren considered their odds. There was no trace of Lux in the Force: Hux was back and his presence was overwhelming. Ren could lie and say LU-9235 was dead, and Snoke wouldn’t find any hint of him in the Force to show that Ren had disobeyed. Still, Ren had to decide what to do with a proud, brilliant and well known military man that, officially, didn’t exist and was consequently upset. Fulfilling the task Snoke gave him wasn’t an option, neither was fleeing. Ren would hide Hux in his rooms for the time being, but their demise was only a matter of Snoke seeking Hux’s mind echoes, or Hux’s fury making him noticeable. Be as it may, Ren expected to have at least a standard month, while Snoke travelled in lethargy, to devise a plan. And he was counting on Hux’s tactical genius to help him. 

Ren's console flared up, and he left the bedside to attend the call. The small holographic face of the Supreme Leader appeared on its surface, a message recorded a few minutes ago, while Ren and Hux were still in the training room.

‘I must admit, my child, I doubted you. I was focusing on you and your toy soldier as the shuttle left the Supremacy, and I was quite surprised when his presence in the force disappeared. You were conflicted and regretful, even more than when you were set to kill Han Solo, but you obeyed nonetheless. My worries on your loyalty and your…  _ sentimentality _ , have vanished. I trust you more than ever with the command while I’m gone’.

The communication ended before Ren could give any answer. When he lifted his eyes from the console he found Hux, standing at the bedroom door, sweaty and dishevelled, but with a distinct gleam in his eyes. 

‘I will kill him, Ren. If you are going to stop me, you might as well kill me now’.

Ren looked at him, breathing heavily, hardly keeping at bay the turmoil of feelings in his chest, afraid that Snoke would notice. 

‘ _ We _ will kill him. And if he defeats us, I’ll kill us both myself before he even has the chance to do it himself. We are no longer his pawns to play with’.

Hux said nothing. Instead, he smiled, something beautiful, blazing and cursed, a wide grin that said ‘Yes, we are our own masters now’, and ‘Yes, I’d rather die by your hand than live on my knees’, and ‘Yes, if I fail, you’ll succeed, you formidable cataclysm, you glorious harbinger of death’, and ‘Yes. Whatever you say, whatever you ask from me, my answer is and will be yes’.


	11. Armitage

There was a viewport in Ren’s bedroom. There was another in the main room, behind the desk and console. Armitage hadn’t expected that. Not that he had ever paid much thought to it, but he would have imagined Ren to live in a cupboard with a cot on the floor and a hole to pee and shit in a corner. If he ever needed to use it, the constipated, self-glorified monk. As it turned out, he would have been wrong in his guess. Ren’s quarters were a mirrored copy of General Hux’s former living space, in the same floor. While he idly observed the star-speckled void and the occasional nebula, Armitage wondered who occupied his rooms now. Ren killed or scared off co-commanders much too quickly to keep count. It was oddly satisfying for Armitage to know he was yet to be out-lasted in the position despite everything. 

‘Hux’.

‘No’.

‘Armitage’.

‘Better’, and only then he turned to face Ren. 

‘I trust you were meditating as I showed you’.

‘I wasn’t’, he replied, folding his arms at his back. Training clothes were everything Ren had managed to get him, making Armitage always look ready to tackle Ren and fight him. Ren refused to acknowledge the eagerness that recurring thought seem to awake on him. 

‘If your thoughts are too loud, or your emotions too vibrant, or even if he is just bored and decides to sweep the ship to see what’s new…’

‘Remind me, Lord Ren, how can a thought be _loud_?’

Ren sighed tiredly, and locked himself in his refresher without a word. This was roughly the way each and everyone of their interactions had gone after Ren established that Hux was, under no circumstance, leaving the quarters. He had promised the devising of a plan in exchange, but the cycles went by and the only times they talked it was for Ren to ask Hux to meditate, sleep, shower or eat, and for Hux to accept or refuse. 

Armitage turned again towards the viewport and whistled an old tune he never knew he had listened. Millicent came from under the bed and tangled herself around his legs. 

* * *

Every now and then Armitage conceded and tried to do the mind exercises Ren insisted on, assuring him that they would hide his presence from Snoke. More often than not Armitage argued that Snoke wouldn’t find him because he had lived two lives now, and he could not possibly be the same. Ren would always counter in the lines of ‘Better safe than sorry’, and Armitage found it equal parts ironic and endearing that the most hot-headed man in the galaxy, and the one who had attacked him and maimed him both as Hux and Lux, was now willing to take all the precautions and some more to protect him. 

As taught, Armitage was sitting on the floor of the main room, with his eyes closed, trying to focus all his being in an imaginary spot in front of him when the door slid open and a stomping, panting Ren made his inelegant entrance. Armitage breathed in deeply and did not bother to open his eyes. 

‘Memories keep coming’, he said conversationally. ‘I have checked on the logs with your credentials to confirm and apparently it is true: they had to recondition me thrice the first time around, since I kept demanding an update on the Supremacy’.

At the lack of an answer, Armitage opened his eyes and found Ren just a couple of steps away, utterly shaken, looking at Armitage as if averting his gaze would cause him to disappear.

‘What happened?’, he asked as he stood up. As Ren didn’t answer, Armitage took him by the shoulders and shook him lightly. ‘What is it?’

‘Someone died today in this ship’.

Armitage couldn’t stifle a small laugh, unable to decide what was more ridiculous of Ren, such worry about one death when he himself was a formidable assassin, or the fact that he found a death in the Supremacy something noteworthy.

‘Dozens die each standard month in this ship. This is a class Mega Star Dreadnought carrying between two and three million people at a time. Not counting accidents or executions, statistically natural death is—’

‘No’, Ren interrupted, and turned around to pace the room in a manner as erratic as distressed. ‘It was a very noticeable death. Someone in the engine levels got caught in a turbine. They died slowly and painfully, and many other engineers and technicians witnessed it. It felt like an uproar in the Force, as loud as an explosion. My chest felt heavy with all the fear, and helplessness, and pain, and grief. It was so striking that before I sensed more details I was convinced Snoke had sensed you from his retreat and had someone kill you in the middle of the bridge for everyone to see’.

Upon hearing those last words, Armitage was speechless for a moment. All that agitation and worry in a man that usually was either apathetic or in a manic murderous strike was a shock in itself. Learning that it was the prospect of losing him what inspired such distress was overwhelming. 

‘Ren’, he ventured, not daring to rise much his voice. ‘It’s alright. I am safe and sound where you left me. I’m even making progress in the exercises you gave me. He can’t know I am here, can he? From his remote sanctuary in a system far, far away?’.

‘That’s what worries me, Hux!’, Ren bellowed. ‘Armitage. That’s precisely what scares me’, he said more softly as he approached him and took his face between his gloved hands. ‘I betrayed you. I thought of you as the echoes of the accident hit me. I was so focused on my own fear that I started looking for you through the Force to make sure it hadn’t been you. I didn’t conceal it, I was brusque and careless. And now he must know about you. He has to know, it’d be sheer fluke if he didn’t. I sold you out. I sold you out’, he finished, voice breaking, letting his forehead fall on Armitage’s. 

‘Well’, whispered Armitage, placing his hands over Ren’s and leaning back slightly to look him in the eye. ‘We might as well start to get ready’. 

For an instant Ren looked puzzled, as if he had been waiting for a tantrum, a fight or at least a snide remark. But Armitage spoke calmly and he was unmistakably smiling when he said:

‘You did mention a few possible plans to kill the creep that you needed to outline, didn’t you? You show me yours, I’ll show you mine?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited to fix an inconsistency: in my head it was pretty clear that Snoke isn't back at the Supremacy yet, but I phrased it in a confusing way originally.
> 
> Edited further to the same end (and to add a meta joke because I can).


End file.
